The greek word skandlon means to put a stumbling-block or impediment in the way, upon which another may trip and fall; to be a stumbling block. It is used metaphorically in the New Testament to cause or make one to stumble, not physically but spiritually. It is often translated “offense” or the verb form “to offend.”
As I've read, re-read, read again, and studied the gospels, the words Jesus spoke, and how they impacted those around Him, I have found certain principles about how Jesus dealt with offending others.
He always expected that His message and His actions would offend others. When John the Baptist sends disciples asking Jesus if He truly is the Messiah, Jesus tells them about the miracles He is doing.
Then He adds, “Blessed is the one who is not offended by me” (Matthew 11:6). He understood that His message would be offensive and controversial. Once many of His disciples turned away from following after Him because of His hard teachings, but He didn’t change His teachings or chase after them. He came as the light of the world and He knew the darkness would try to overcome the light.
He practiced and counseled his disciples to leave offended people alone. Once the disciples came to tell Jesus the Pharisees were offended because of His teachings. Jesus instructs His disciples to “let them alone” (Matthew 15).
He says if they follow these blind guides they will both fall in the ditch. Earlier, when His hometown of Nazareth was offended because of His teaching, He understood it was because He had grown up there and they knew Him according to the flesh. Familiarity had bred contempt. Jesus chose to move on at that point and not do any more teaching or miracles in that town.
When possible, in cases that did not violate the truth of God, Jesus never tried to offend others. Jesus didn’t intentionally try to offend anyone ever. In fact, even though he didn’t technically have to pay the temple tax since He was the Son of God, He told Peter to pay the tax so they wouldn't offend them. They would not understand how He was exempt from such a tax, so Jesus just paid it.
In other cases such as the rich young ruler or in dealing with many of the pharisees, Jesus just let them walk away.
So what are we to do in this ultra-offensive culture in the year 2022 where everything seems to be upside down? What can we take away from this to learn from Jesus?
Here are a few for you to consider, I am sure there are many, many more.
The gospel of Jesus Christ will still offend people today. The teachings of the Kingdom, calling people to purity and holiness will still offend people. If we make up our own version of Jesus that is politically correct and offends no one, then we are not preaching or living from the true gospel. The gospel, in its very nature, is offensive. How do I know? IT IS WRITTEN.
We need to be willing to keep our distance from people who are offended, whether they ghost you or let you know they're offended.
When possible, we should always try to work through the issue, but if they are not willing, then we need to just "let them alone".
1 Corinthians says love is kind, not love is nice, but we may be best served by ending the discussion and moving on to other Kingdom works if the offended party would rather talk to everyone else except the one who has offended them.
Disciples of Christ should not be in the business of trying to offend others.
Jesus said:
"This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God."
Matthew 5:23-24
"If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love."
Matthew 18:15-17
Offense is almost always connected to a preception of rejection or insecurity.
Rejection always befriends bitterness!
Insecurity always invites competition!
Pride is always strong in the offended!
Pride breeds offense then leads to bitterness which shows up to the home of rejection when rejections unspoken expectations don’t get met. Then because of insecurity they compete but instead of running a better race themselves, they seek to take you out of it completely. Then through their judgements they now require you to do something even though they've never told you what you said or did that had hurt them.
Bitterness instigates rejection into entitlement and teaches it how to ”cope” which leads to inner anger, gossip, and repeated attempts to undermine and destroy the perceptions of others about the person who has hurt them.
Bitterness is nothing more than unfulfilled revenge! People who struggle with rejection have a hidden hate for those who accept them in healthy ways! The mindset of rejection wants people to accept them in an unhealthy way because their definition of true acceptance is skewed by their own pain.
This is why those who struggle with rejection are so hard to minister to, they tell you it's all good to your face and then tell everyone else how big of a jerk you are because you didn't read their mind and make it right.
You hurt them by not meeting their needs or by not filling a void that isn’t even supposed to be filled by you. You could put together a whole party for a rejected person and they will still be upset that you didn't serve the right dessert. Then bitterness will create a false right to have unnecessary resentment! Rejection is the rain to the seed of bitterness and before you know it you have a whole tree!
The scary part about it is that this deception is so strong sometimes that it becomes part of identity. When you've been angry for so long and realize you have to forgive, what do you do? Who are you if you're not offended by someone or something?
If you being offended keeps you from getting right with your brother or sister then it's also keeping you from getting right with God if you being offended keeps you from maturing spiritually than you will always be a baby.
Peace is elusive to the offended.
It's not worth it, and from personal experience I can tell you that 99% of the time when I go to someone because they've said something or done something that hurt me, they had no idea I had carried the pain and offense for so long.
It's time to drink from the living water and make peace brothers and sisters.
I want to encourage you today to heal and to not defend your dysfunction!
Jesus wants to set you free of your rejection, pain, insecurity, and bitterness and then He'll fill you with His mercy, love, and grace.
All you have to do is repent and BE willing to do it His way. We need each other more than most realize because you don't have a temple built with one rock, nor a body with a few parts laying around.
All of us need to stay humble and patient with eachother because only a wolf would break apart the flock of God, never a Shepard.
But once a divisive person is marked, have nothing to do with them, IT IS WRITTEN.
Selah.
🔥❤️🔥
